According to Melissa King, a psychotherapist who runs a support group for women with herpes in New York City, when someone finds out they’ve gotten herpes from a partner, there’s often immediately an assumption that the partner knew that they had it and lied, or that they were cheating. “But the reality is that in a lot of cases, people don’t know that they have it,” King tells BuzzFeed.
Herpes viruses typically infect the oral or genital mucosa. When herpes affects the mouth, it causes the typical "cold sores," which are painful sores or blisters that form on the lips, mouth, or gums. Prior to the development of the blisters, there may be a prodrome (early symptoms indicating onset of a particular disease) consisting of an itching, burning, or tingling sensation in the affected area. The virus remains dormant in the nervous system throughout life, and this is the reason that cold sores often recur in the same location.
Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 infections are acquired from direct contact with someone who carries the virus. The infectious secretions that pass on HSV-1 or HSV-2 live on oral, genital or anal mucosal surfaces. They’re passed through skin-to-skin transmission, and any form of direct contact with sores on the mouth, buttocks or genitals can cause the virus to be passed.

We usually do this for short durations of time. Not something that can be taken as lifelong therapy. I know it might not make sense to some of you. You’re probably asking why it is that we can’t just take the suppressive antiviral medications for the rest of our lives and with that, have no flares of herpes? Well basically, we know that having a high viral load is not the definitive factor in determining a herpetic flare. It is how the body is coping with the virus. So ultimately, you can be taking medications for months on end with your body in good shape to contain the virus so that there are no breakouts but that does not mean that the virus is eliminated from your body.

Oral herpes, commonly referred to as mouth herpes, is a viral infection of the mouth and gums primarily by the Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) but may also be due to the genital variant (HSV-2). It is also known as recurrent herpetic stomatitis or acute herpetic gingivostomatitis. The infection of the mouth typically causes small fluid-filled blisters known as vesicles on the roof of the mouth (palate), inside of the cheeks (buccal muscosa), tongue, gums and even the lips (herpes labialis). It may also occur on the skin around the mouth and extend to the nose and into the nasal cavity.
However, asymptomatic carriers of the HSV-2 virus are still contagious. In many infections, the first symptom people will have of their own infections is the horizontal transmission to a sexual partner or the vertical transmission of neonatal herpes to a newborn at term. Since most asymptomatic individuals are unaware of their infection, they are considered at high risk for spreading HSV.[47]
If not treated immediately, it has potential  spread to other parts of the body. Being highly contagious in nature it gets readily transmitted by sharing utensils, clothes, and toothbrush. Maintaining sexual contact, kissing and touching also leads to the spread of virus. It is likely to spread more when the virus is present with physical outbursts. It is less contagious if the virus is present without any outward physical signs.
Herpes virus type 1 (HSV-1) is the cause of cold sores or fever blisters around the mouth. Usually, the sores or blisters can show up on the outside of the mouth or on the lips. But sometimes, they can be inside the mouth, on the face, nose, cheeks or fingers. HSV-1 can also lead to infection of the genitals, called genital herpes. This occurs when you have a cold sore and perform oral sex on another person. HSV-1 infections are highly contagious. Apart from oral-genital contact, they can be spread through skin-to-skin contact. If you come into contact with a person or a thing that carries HSV-1, you will be likely to get it, too. Often, people get HSV-1 from kissing someone with a cold sore or when they share eating utensils, razors, or towels.
Because the herpes virus is so common most people who have either genital or oral herpes do not know that they have it.   Additionally, the symptoms of HSV1 or 2 may be mild or at time, may not appear for days, weeks, or even years and sometimes no symptoms of herpes are present at all.  It is important to note that symptoms do not have to be present in order to contract this virus, so it is important that you prevent transmission through proper hygiene and awareness.
Herpes symptoms commonly show in or around the mouth. Sores may also occur at the back of the throat, causing the lymph nodes in the neck to swell. Mouth herpes is very common in children, as their parents or relatives can pass it on to them easily by a greeting or goodnight kiss. To get a better understanding of oral herpes, let us take a look at its causes.
Herpes infection can cause sores or breaks in the skin or lining of the mouth, vagina, and rectum. This provides a way for HIV to enter the body. Even without visible sores, having genital herpes increases the number of CD4 cells (the cells that HIV targets for entry into the body) found in the lining of the genitals. When a person has both HIV and genital herpes, the chances are higher that HIV will be spread to an HIV-uninfected sex partner during sexual contact with their partner’s mouth, vagina, or rectum.
'Using condoms or dams can help to protect against STIs, but herpes can also be passed on by skin-to-skin contact with the affected area, so it’s strongly recommended that you don’t have sex during this time,' she adds. 'This includes direct genital contact or skin-to-skin contact with the affected area, and doesn’t have to be penetrative sex,' says O’Sullivan.
×