I am so scared. My boyfriend is the only person I have ever had unprotected sex with 4 times. We had a herpes scare. He got tested. They swabbed him and gave him a blood test and his results for Herpes 1 and 2 came back negative. I went to the doctor but the lumps on my vagina healed and they said come back when you have a lesion. I told my BF but he still wanted to have sex, I told him what the doctor said and I told him we should not have sex or use a condom. He said it does not matter because if he did not have herpes I did not have Herpes. He said ok and put the condom on but  when we were done he started to laugh and said he took the condom off. Since then we have had sex twice. I went to the doctor and they gave me a blood test. They said if something was wrong they would send a letter to the house. Since they never sent the letter to the house I thought I was fine and I never had any other lumps since then and my boy friend never had any symptoms I thought I was fine.Today something told me to go to the doctor. I went and they said they never ordered the test. I AM So ANGRY. What Should I do? If I do have it shouldn't it have been in his blood from me? I am so scared that I may have it? I am also worried that one day he may get symptoms because his test was wrong and think I gave it to him when he was the one who may have given it to me if my blood test comes back positive. I have only had sex once with a condom before him. What should I do? He has had other a few partners. What is the likely hood that I may have given him herpes?
According to Gina*, 21, “A herpes diagnosis is very shaking and it gives you the opportunity to look inward and really find what you love about yourself.” Gina says she has even better self-esteem than prior to finding out she had HSV. She explains, “You learn not to lower your standards, because you start to pick out who it is worth disclosing to and who isn't.”
Pain, itching and the appearance of sores called lesions are common symptoms of genital herpes. Lesions may appear inside or outside the vagina, and on or around the penis. In both women and men, these sores may appear in and around the anus.6 Lesions typically appear from two days to two weeks after you first get infected with the virus, and will take seven to 14 days or more to heal.7
There are two types of herpes simplex virus, type 1 (HSV-1) and type 2 (HSV-2).[1] HSV-1 more commonly causes infections around the mouth while HSV-2 more commonly causes genital infections.[2] They are transmitted by direct contact with body fluids or lesions of an infected individual.[1] Transmission may still occur when symptoms are not present.[1] Genital herpes is classified as a sexually transmitted infection.[1] It may be spread to an infant during childbirth.[1] After infection, the viruses are transported along sensory nerves to the nerve cell bodies, where they reside lifelong.[2] Causes of recurrence may include: decreased immune function, stress, and sunlight exposure.[2][3] Oral and genital herpes is usually diagnosed based on the presenting symptoms.[2] The diagnosis may be confirmed by viral culture or detecting herpes DNA in fluid from blisters.[1] Testing the blood for antibodies against the virus can confirm a previous infection but will be negative in new infections.[1]
Diagnosing herpes is made much easier if you present to your clinician at the time that the rash is present and if possible, we can take a sample from that to be sent for Herpes PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction) studies to confirm the diagnosis. Advanced medical investigative techniques such as this will allow us to differentiate type one from type two herpes regardless of the nature and distribution of the rash.
“Someone having HSV doesn't mean that they were reckless or irresponsible with their sex life,” says Sara, age 30. “I used condoms with all my partners, and I still caught it.” For Jamie, who contracted herpes from her husband three years into their monogamous relationship, he was her first and only sexual partner. And she says that he contracted it from one of his very first sexual encounters. No matter how and why someone contracted the virus, it doesn't erase their humanity and right to respect.
These herpes viruses enter the body through small cuts, abrasions, or breaks in the skin or mucous membranes. The incubation period for herpes simplex infections is about three to six days. Transmission (spread) of the virus is person to person and more likely to occur if blisters or lesions are present. The majority enter after an uninfected person has direct contact with someone carrying the virus (either with or without noticeable lesions). Simply touching an infected person is often the way children get exposed. Adolescents and adults frequently get exposed by skin contact but may get their first exposure by kissing or sexual contact (oral and/or genital contact), especially for HSV-2. Statistical studies suggest that about 80%-90% of people in the U.S. have been exposed to HSV-1 and about 30% have been exposed to HSV-2. Usually, the contagious period continues until lesions heal. Some people (estimated from 30%-50%) occasionally shed herpes virus while having few or no associated symptoms or signs.

Genital herpes is not usually accommodated by symptoms. Two-thirds of genital herpes cases are asymptomatic. Getting tested for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 is the only sure way to know if you have genital herpes. Blisters or sores in the genital area, fever, body aches, swollen lymph nodes, headaches, tiredness and painful urination call all be symptoms of genital herpes.
If you find out your partner has genital herpes, support him or her, and protect yourself. Genital herpes is so common and it may involve more than the virus itself. You can catch the disease from your partner through sexual contact. Without treatment, genital herpes can go away on its own. But, your partner needs medications to stop symptoms and prevent transmission. If you think the disease is harming your relationship, talk to your doctor for help.
Oral herpes is a viral infection mainly of the mouth area and lips caused by a specific type of the herpes simplex virus. Oral herpes is also termed HSV-1, type 1 herpes simplex virus, or herpes labialis. The virus causes painful sores on the upper and lower lips, gums, tongue, roof of the mouth, inside the cheeks or nose, and sometimes on the face, chin, and neck. Infrequently, it may cause genital lesions. It also can cause symptoms such as swollen lymph nodes, fever, and muscle aches. People commonly refer to the infection as "cold sores."
Not every person with a herpes infection actually experiences breakouts of cold sores throughout his or her lifetime or even after initially becoming infected. How often someone has a herpes cold sore outbreak, how severe the outbreaks are, how contagious someone is after infection and how long the sores take to heal all depend on someone’s individual immune response.
Dr. Shiel received a Bachelor of Science degree with honors from the University of Notre Dame. There he was involved in research in radiation biology and received the Huisking Scholarship. After graduating from St. Louis University School of Medicine, he completed his Internal Medicine residency and Rheumatology fellowship at the University of California, Irvine. He is board-certified in Internal Medicine and Rheumatology.
“Herpes is caused by sexual intimacy and contact with a person who is actively shedding the herpes virus,” says Cullins. If you have HSV-1, that shedding could happen through the mouth or a cold sore, which means that the virus can be transmitted through kissing, or just sharing a drink. If you have herpes that affects the genitals, it can be transmitted from sharing sex toys, grinding, or even mutual masturbation — any activity where the virus can be transmitted from one person to another through skin-to-skin or mucosal contact.
According to Melissa King, a psychotherapist who runs a support group for women with herpes in New York City, when someone finds out they’ve gotten herpes from a partner, there’s often immediately an assumption that the partner knew that they had it and lied, or that they were cheating. “But the reality is that in a lot of cases, people don’t know that they have it,” King tells BuzzFeed.
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